I get to choose who I am
I hate dodgeball.
I know the rules, how to dodge the ball as it comes at me, and how to throw the ball to get someone out.
But I hate dodgeball.
The reason I hate dodgeball has nothing to do with the sport itself, but it has everything to do with my first PE class in 6th grade.
On that first day, I walked onto the field with my PE clothes, I was ready and excited for PE. I chatted with my classmate, guess what we might get to do in PE class. When the PE teacher showed up, and said, we are going to play dodgeball. The class cheered. Then the teacher said, “I am going to see how well you play first.”
The PE teacher picked two captains, and they took turn picking teams. As they were picking, I heard comments like,
“I want you on my team; you are really fast.”
“You are skinny; come over.”
“You are super strong; get over here.”
“you are so good at dodging.”
I watched my class get picked one by one until there were only two people left. I looked at one of the captains, hoping to be picked, but he picked the person standing next to me.
I was crushed.
At that moment, I realized my classmate saw me as slow, fat, weak, and uncoordinated. I had no value to them, and my contribution, or the lack of it, is how they defined me. I couldn’t resist these labels, and I carried these labels with me to my other classes and at home. These labels were reinforced when I looked at my younger brother, the athlete who led his basketball team to beat our class in previous years’ all-school sports games.
At a young age, I was defined by the people around me, and I didn’t know I have a choice in my identity. That is until I met Jesus.
Apostle Peter, in his letter, wrote, “you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession” (1 Peter 2:9). God has chosen me to be a part of his royal and holy family. He has chosen me to be his own precious possession. He has given me the option to choose an identity that he, the creator, has designed for me. It is up to me to decide who I am going to be. I get to choose who I am.
Now that I am an adult, it doesn’t mean I am free from voices that try to define who I am. Comments such as “You are not accessible enough.” “what do you do all day?” or “have you thought about this?” still try to pull me into an identity that is defined by my contribution to the world. I am grateful that in these moments, the Holy Spirit, through the Word of God, reminds me that I am chosen, royal, holy, and treasured by God of the universe. I get to choose who I am and the identity my creator has given me.
