Want your child to smile when they see you pop up on their phone? 10 ways to build positive memories with your child.

Have you ever been going about your day only to have your phone ring and see that it's your parents calling? How do you feel in that moment? Do you feel happy, annoyed, or maybe even anxious? Our memories of our parents can greatly influence how we perceive them in the present moment.

Think for a moment about the memories that come up for you when you think of your parents. What feelings are being triggered by those memories? It's important to understand that these memories can shape our current relationship with our parents.

Positive experiences that a child can have with their parents are numerous and varied. Some examples include going on family vacations, reading together, playing games, cooking or baking together, attending sporting events, going to the movies, taking walks or bike rides, having picnics, and volunteering together. These experiences provide a child with positive feelings towards their parents. So when their parents call, they want to pick up the phone.

On the other hand, children often remember the negative experiences. Some examples include yelling, excessive punishment, neglect, criticism, verbal or physical abuse, and disregarding a child's feelings or needs. These experiences can shape a child's feelings towards their parents, leading to negative perceptions of them in the present and future. So when the phone rings, the child might feel annoyed, anxious, or even angry. They are more likely to ignore the call.

Now, imagine for a moment when your children are adults, and they see your name pop up on their phone. How do you want them to feel? Do you want them to be excited to answer the call, or do you want them to feel anxious or annoyed? The memories you create with your children today will shape their perception of you in the future. So take the time to build positive memories, and create a relationship that will last a lifetime.

Here are 10 ways to build a more positive relationship:

• Praise the child for displaying positive character traits such as honesty, caring, and thoughtfulness.

• Give reasons for consequences and punishments so the child understands the expectations.

• Spend quality time together and do activities together.

• Listen actively to your child.

• Show love and affection regularly.

• Be consistent with rules and expectations.

• Encourage open communication.

• Be patient and understanding.

• Celebrate special moments and accomplishments.

• Be supportive of your child's interests and passions.

When a child's memories are positive, they are more likely to have a positive perception of their parents. However, negative memories can lead to negative perceptions of parents, even in adulthood.

As a parent, it's important to actively work to build a positive influence on your children. By doing so, your children won't flinch or feel annoyed or frustrated when you call. Instead, they will look forward to hearing from you and building positive memories together.

Remember, our memories shape our perceptions. As parents, it's up to us to create positive memories that will last a lifetime.