Do’s and Don’ts when praying with your children.
Prayer is how believers communicate with God, and it is made possible by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Jesus taught the disciples how to pray, and many new testament authors wrote about prayer. God desires his people to communicate with him through prayer. God also desires his people to teach each other how to pray.
For parents, praying with your children is the best way to disciple them. The benefits include
spending quality time with your children.
creating space for communication between you and your children.
modeling prayer for your children to imitate.
Before jumping into the dos and don’ts of prayer, you must know what prayer is and isn’t when praying with your children.
Prayer is an invitation for God to join your relationship with your child.
When you pray, you invite God to show up in your lives. You are inviting God’s presence to fill the space you are occupying. You are inviting God to be present with you. When you pray with your child, you invite God to join you and your child. You are inviting God to be a part of your relationships. You are asking God to help you to work on your relationship with your child. So invite God to join you when you pray with your child.
Prayer is an invitation for you to bring yourself to God.
When you pray, you can bring your true self to God. You bring your true emotion to the Lord. You bring happiness, joy, surprise, and enthusiasm to the Lord. You can tell him what happened today that made you feel these feelings. You can also bring your sadness, anger, envy, and jealousy to the Lord and tell him what made you feel this way. God listens to all and welcomes everything you want to share with him. He welcomes you with open arms. He wants to hear what you have to say. So bring your true self to the Lord.
Prayer is an invitation for your children to experience God themselves.
You can talk to your children all their lives, and they still don't know God exists unless they experience God themselves. You can talk about how God healed, saved, or helped you. But your children may only view them as “good moral stories.” When you pray with your children and invite them to pray, you invite them to experience God for themselves. Children are sensitive to the Lord. Some children say they hear God’s voice, some children say God helped them in certain situations, and some children know that God is real because they experienced God’s work in their lives. So invite your children to prayer.
However, PRAYER IS NOT:
an opportunity to lecture your child,
an opportunity to shame your child.
for you to cast your dream on your child.
Students felt ashamed or embarrassed when their parents prayed that they would be more obedient, kinder, and nicer, and work harder. Students felt they had failed. Their parents prayed for them to get into specific colleges or score a certain number on a test, and they didn’t. Students feel stressed when their parents give thanks to God for their siblings and what they have accomplished. Even though the parents may not intend to make their teen feel bad through prayer, these teens still feel these emotions.
You may think that teenagers are too sensitive, rude, or inconsiderate. Still, when teenagers feel safe and allowed to express themselves through prayer, they will gladly take those opportunities to pray. So here are some do’s and don’ts about prayer.
Do’s
If you are starting to build a prayer routine with your children, keep it short.
stay with a prayer routine for a couple of weeks before switching, and let them get used to it.
use the same prompt for a few weeks, so they know what to expect.
parents should use the same prompt as the ones they give to their children.
Don’ts
pray long prayers without giving your family a heads up. Children need predictability to feel safe.
force your children to pray. If they want to skip, let them watch. Invite them again tomorrow.
make a big deal out of it. Normalize it. If it takes too long to set up, you make it too big of a deal. You want prayer to be something kids can do regularly on their own later. Making it too big of a deal, you may have more resistance and more chances for your children to back away from praying.
Prayer is powerful, so invite your children to pray and experience God’s transformative power.
