Starting a prayer routine with your kids
Prayer is how Jesus’s followers communicate with God. The Bible contains many teachings about prayer. You probably heard about prayer, and you probably prayed to God before. You may even have a consistent prayer routine. However, teaching your kids to pray with you requires different skills.
Trying to round up your kids around the house and praying is like chasing wild monkeys. Trying to get them to say a prayer is like pulling teeth. While you pray, you have to peak to see if your kids are still there. Even when they pray, they often repeat the same thing and try to escape it quickly. Does this sound familiar in your home? The good news is that you are not alone. Praying with children can be extremely challenging and difficult. At the same time, it is extremely rewarding when kids begin to pray seriously and see prayer as a relationship-building tool with God.
If you haven’t started a prayer routine with your kids, now is the time to start, and here are x tips to get you started.
Step 1: Decide where and when you will pray with your family and for how long.
Spur-of-the-moment decisions don’t usually create routines. Creating a routine is forming new habits requiring time, intentionality, and consistency. To give this routine a greater chance to succeed, think about when and where you will pray with your family. Start with just a few minutes a day. I recommend 3-5 minutes, so it doesn’t seem like a burden. Everyone has about 5 minutes, and it is easier to find 5 minutes than 15 minutes.
Think about your typical week with your family. When and where do you naturally gather already? Build a prayer routine for these natural gatherings. Some families have breakfast together, and some families go to school/work together. Some families eat dinners together. Some families go to church on Sunday mornings. Some families regularly go out for Pizza on Fridays. Find a time that you have naturally gathered already.
Then think about your “signal” to launch into prayer. A trigger is usually an action. For example, a trigger can be when a parent starts a car or when everyone sits down for a meal. When these “signal” behaviors happen, prayer is the next thing that happens. Decide on the signal and communicate that with the other parent.
Step 2: Decide on a format.
How will your family pray together? Will you be sitting down together? Are you riding the car together? Who will go first? What will you pray for? Decide ahead of time how you want your family to pray. Moses taught the people of Israelites when these conversations & prayers could happen before they entered the promised land:
And these words that [Moses] command you shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. (Deuteronomy 6:7)
Moses is teaching the people of Israel that they can talk to their children about God in different scenarios. In our modern-day context, we can include prayer in these scenarios because we can talk to our children about God and talk to God with our children. Here is what Moses said with modern-day implications:
when you sit in your house = watch TV together, have meals together, sit down for a chat, playing with toys or games.
walk by the way = go on walks, drive them somewhere, travel with them.
when you lie down = tuck your children into bed before bed.
When you rise = waking up in the morning, breakfast.
There are many opportunities for you to pray with your children and decide how you will help them build a habit of prayer.
Step 3: tell your kids you want to pray with them regularly.
The ability to predict what will happen next brings comfort to children. Similar to clean up, you are more likely to get your kids to stop playing and start cleaning up if you give them a heads up that clean up time is coming up in five minutes. So let them know you would like to pray with them for a few minutes at a predictable time.
Tell your children when you would like to pray with them and where. Then tell them what will be the signal for prayer. Then tell them how you want to participate in prayer.
Here are a few ways children can participate in prayer
share something they are happy about / grateful for, and thank God for these things.
share what was hard about their day and ask God for help.
ask your children to thank God for what made them happy today.
ask your children to pray on your behalf about what made your day hard today.
ask your children to name a friend they would like to bless and bless that friend to have a good day and be filled with happiness.
Step 4: Keep going
Starting a habit isn’t hard. Keeping up with the habit is the hardest part. This is where persistence is helpful. Insist that you as a family will pray together despite the crying and yelling. Give your children room to express their emotions, but insist they are there while you pray as a family. It is okay if your children don’t feel like praying. Invite them and wait. Don’t force. Let them observe and participate when they are ready to participate.
Step 5: Share your experience, good and bad, with a friend
Parenting can be lonely, and implementing a new routine can be challenging. Invite a friend into your struggle, and ask your friend to listen to your struggle and pray with you. We all need support in our lives. Invite your friends into your experiences so that they can help you.
If you already have a prayer routine with your children
and is going well, you can consider expanding prayer:
add more time and increase in frequency to your prayer routine. Add a little bit at a time for a couple of months. Tell your children about the change before it happens so they can be prepared.
pray for more people, organizations, leaders, and events that are coming up.
incorporate questions or sentence starters that help expand the children’s thinking, such as:
What kind of person is God teaching us to be, and how can we pray toward that?
What values are hard to live out? Let’s bring it to the Lord and ask for help.
I feel ____ when ____, God, please help me to ________.
IF you don’t have a prayer routine for yourself,
Use steps to help you establish a prayer routine for yourself, and ask someone in your life to help you build this routine. You can also reach out to your pastors, ask for help, and learn ways to help you remember to pray regularly.
Prayer is an invitation for God to work in you and your children and help your children get to know the God you worship and imitate through prayer.
