Parents: Academic Achievement Starts in the Home!
Recall the last time you saw your child's report card. Recall your feelings and thoughts when you looked at the A's and the B's. How about the D's and F's?
Who do you attribute to your child's academic success? The student? The teacher? Or you? How about their academic failures?
When asked about students' academic achievement or lack thereof, most people think it is the teacher's responsibility to teach and help students achieve academically. Parents often blame their children for not working hard, not earning good grades, or not paying attention in school. They played too many video games, spent too much time on YouTube, or hung out with their friends too much.
For many families, academic achievement is often a topic that causes a lot of parent-child conflicts. For Asian Americans, this conflict may happen more frequently because of the parents' high expectations for students to get all A's. There is a reason why there are so many jokes about Asian parents punishing their kids for getting A minuses.
In Asian culture, getting good grades is associated with working hard, a central value of Asian culture. Asians value hard work. Stories such as farmers waking up before the sun gets up or poor students borrowing the neighbor's light to study are stories Asians hear growing up, reinforcing the idea that working hard will get you good results. No wonder Asian parents expect their children to get all A's. Getting all A's is how Asian children show that they understand the value of hard work.
However, many factors contribute to students'’ academic achievement. It depends on their motivation for learning, access to resources, home environment, ability to handle stress and anxiety, and the school they attend.
The American education system is built to highlight intelligence, such as literacy and reasoning. These are your language arts classes, math classes, and science classes. According to Howard Gardner, there are other intelligences that are prominent in other people, such as music, spatial awareness, aesthetic, kinesthetic, interpersonal, and intrapersonal. These are the music and art classes and PE and Social Emotional Learning. These intelligences are less favored in schools. As a result, some students may never feel confident in school because there is no outlet for them to demonstrate their natural gifts to the world. Therefore, there is less motivation to do well or work towards a perfect report card.
Students have different levels of access to resources, even in the same school. It is natural for teachers to have favorites, even though no teacher will admit it. Everyone has people in their lives that they jive with more, and everyone has people that are just difficult to connect with. Students' personalities can contribute to the amount of help they receive from their teachers.
Then there is the home environment. Some students feel safe expressing their frustration and challenges at home, while others do not. They are afraid to disappoint their parents or anger their parents. Some students have to deal with parents working overtime or evening shifts because of the type of work they do. They do not get the emotional support they need to feel secure in their relationship with their parents. As a result, their lack of confidence and connection impacts their performance in school.
Not all students have the skills to manage their stress and anxiety. Some students freeze up when they know a test is coming, or some are afraid of failure, so they never start their projects early. Different students have different levels of skills to handle the stress they feel at school.
Lastly, the school your student attends greatly impacts their achievement. Some schools partner with parents well in supporting the student, while some schools have high expectations for students with low support to help the student achieve.
You, the parents, play a huge role in your child's academic success, and you influence your child and their academic performance. So what can you do to help them?
Have an honest conversation about their education and listen to their success stories and failures without judgment.
Give them an outlet to build confidence in other areas if they aren't confident about the core subjects taught in school.
Help your child get access to resources. You can give your child a script to ask the teacher for help. You can advocate for your child with the school and seek out external resources like coaches and tutors to help your child.
Teach and model strategies to manage stress and anxiety. Take classes with your child if you also need help in this area.
Look into your child's school and the climate of the school. Then determine if the school is right for your child.
Working hard may be the answer to some academic success, but many more factors impact your child's learning. Help them to be successful by giving them the well-rounded support they need.
If you need additional resources or help, contact me, and I would love to help you and your child grow closer and more confident.
